A Month Ago...

A month and two days ago I looked like this in the last picture taken before my water broke...A month and two days ago if you had asked me then how I felt about being pregnant, I would have told you that I felt fat, ugly, and couldn't wait to be done. Little did I know as I sat on the beach with my family that my pregnant experience would shortly be over and that I would today see women well into their pregnancies and find myself jealous that I don't get to be uncomfortable, swollen, and cute like them.

A month and two days ago, I didn't know that in pregnancy's place I would be grateful to have a child that by all accounts is healthy and perfect. Adam's well being is something that I worried about from the moment he arrived. One of the things I didn't mention in telling the story of Adam's birth was the reason behind Adam's sudden drop in heart rate and quick entry into the world. Tiny, purple, and quiet, Adam was followed unexpectedly by another object. "Was that her placenta?" I heard a surprised voice ask. The doctor looked and confirmed that it had followed on it's own. It was at that time that the doctor realized that my placenta had abrupted, or torn away from the "wall" it was attached to. The moment that happened the baby lost all nutrients and oxygen, causing the heart rate drop and everything that followed. Most of us who know how to tie our shoes also know that without oxygen we cannot survive. The neonatologist came in shortly after Adam was stable and explained that he had been without oxygen and that, while the less important organs, like the intestines, usually shut down first when the oxygen goes, because they didn't know how long Adam had been without oxygen they couldn't say whether there would be permanent damage to the brain. Scary.

A month and two days later, I am grateful that my little Adam is here and has so far passed every developmental task given him, indicating more and more that there was and is no damage to our little guy's brain. I am so grateful for answers to prayers, for the prayers of others, and for the stressful blessing this experience has been in our lives. While I am grateful I am also excited for the day, in about a week, that Adam comes home and that working brain of his can start on the path of learning to crawl, talk, and occasionally drive me crazy. I can't wait!