Kids and Kisses

A few days ago as I was headed out the door, Noah ran after me upset because he wanted a second hug and kiss. Having already given him one and being in a hurry to get to the things that awaited, I was a little frustrated, but still turned around and gave him another hug and kiss. He smiled. I left. End of story.

Except that a few days later I was feeding Adam, getting ready to put him to bed and, as I flipped through television channels, I came across ABC's interview with Jaycee Dugard. Jaycee was kidnapped at the age of 11 and it was two children and 18 years later that she was found. I had no interest in watching this show, as I was a little turned off by the advertising of her interview, which felt almost exploitive. Her story was so engrossing though, that Joe and I both sat and watched, dumbstruck by the many ways she should have been found far sooner than she was, and that her kidnapper was even free and able to take her in the first place.

There are several things I learned from her. She is not letting this experience, which has consumed more of her life than not, rule her life. Having endured a horrific trial, she is happy, choosing not to focus on what she lost, but on what she now has. Her attitude was such an example of grace in the face of trials. If she can make it through what she did and still smile, what right do I have to whine about some of the things, very little minor things, that upset me.

What struck me most though and hasn't yet left me, leading to me write about it today, is a comment Jaycee's mother Terry made. On the day Jaycee was taken, Terry was late for work. She had been late several times and did not want to repeat the habit that morning. She said:

"I had been late to work three Monday mornings in a row, and I was focused on myself, trying to get myself out that door so I wouldn't be late for work. And I chose not to go in and kiss my girls goodbye that morning, wanting to be on time. And for 18 years I kick myself for not kissing my baby goodbye."

She didn't know that her next opportunity to kiss her daughter would not come for almost two decades and probably had days where she thought she would never have another kiss. Jaycee told her as much, but still she said:

"No. But it's a good lesson, you know, take a minute for your kids. Doing that extra thing may be an inconvenience to you but it is important to them."

With tears in my eyes, I looked to find Joe's eyes in the same state. I thought of Noah asking for that second kiss and my resistance to do so and I thought of Terry missing those kisses for so long and as I watched the program, I could not help but be grateful that I had a sleeping child in my arms and two other beautiful children tucked safely in their beds.

I have since wondered to myself, how often have I been too focused on me to notice the little things that my kids ask of me? Have I brushed off a kiss or request for affection? Am I taking advantage of the moments I have with my children? I am so grateful for the priviledge it is to be a mother. There are stressful and crazy times, but there is nothing else I would rather do than be with my family and get to be called mom, mama, or mommy by my children. The thought of not having any one of my kids with me is almost too scary to dwell on, but I know that things do happen. In listening to Jaycee's mother, I was reminded of the importance of my role as a mother, not just to feed and cloth and love my children, but to take time for them, to give them kisses, watch them do a silly dance, or turn away from what I am doing to listen to what is important to them in that moment. I don't want to take a single second for granted, because who really knows how many seconds we have and, as I have already seen with Chloe's fast rise from infant to kindergartener, the time flies SO fast.

The Savior taught us to "...Behold your little ones" (3 Nephi 17:23) and Elder M. Russell Ballard in a talk said, "He didn't say 'glance at them' or 'casually observe them' or 'occasionally take a look in their general direction' he said to BEHOLD them. To me that means we should embrace them with our eyes and with our hearts; we should see and appreciate them...spirit children of our Heavenly Father."

Having three children at very busy ages, I know that life isn't always the picture of perfect joy and harmony, but I also know I love being a mom. I love Chloe, Noah, and Adam more than I can even express and I hope that I always remember to behold my children and to be grateful for every moment I have with them.