Heroes

Having just put the kids to bed I sat down on the couch and began scanning through television channels in search of something decent to watch before heading to bed. I remember seeing the time flash with the change of the channel. 8:51. About five minutes into a show, during a commercial break, a breaking news sign flashed across the screen. Newcasters proceeded to say that there was an active situation in progress, that shooting was still taking place, and that people should avoid the area. Updates would be given when there was more information.

As I sat there several thoughts ran through my mind, was Joe there was first among them. I knew that the area where this was taking place was close to Riverdale, so it was possible that Joe had been involved from the beginning. I also knew that if he wasn't there when the shooting started, hearing that information and knowing people may be in danger would cause him to head that way immediately. Knowing this and feeling nervous I sent him a text message:

"Are you involved at all in the Ogden shooting situation that they just reported about?"

Waiting for his response seemed to take forever and I allowed my mind to wander. Often I have been asked how I feel about Joe being a police officer and am I worried about him being safe. I have always been able to answer that I am okay with his career. When Joe decided he wanted to be a police officer, we prayed ALOT about the choice. We went to the temple. We talked to people who were officers. His, our, decision was not one we took lightly. As we prayed, as we talked, I remember being blessed with a sense of peace, that this was the right choice for him and our family, and that we would be okay. I realize that being okay, doesn't necessarily mean that everything works out the way you want, and that instead it means we will be able to make it through whatever comes our way, but this was a path we were supposed to take.

At that point, the whatever comes our way part is what dominated my mind. If he is hurt, do I call my mom or a neighbor to come watch the kids so I can get to the hospital. If he is dead, how long will it take for them to let me know. If he does die, what will I do, how will it affect my kids, will I stay in our house, will I move....So many thoughts that 19 long minutes later were put to rest when I received:

"I'm here. 3 officers shot, 2 may be dead"

With those words my fear was immediately put to rest, but sadness overwhelmed me as I realized that there were other wives, mothers, brothers, and friends who would not experience that relief. I felt guilty for my fear because my husband was okay and others' were not. Reality about the sacrifices of the job of a police officer weighed heavily on my mind.

Details became clearer as I watched the news and later talked to Joe about what he experienced. Police officers with the Weber Morgan Strike force were executing a knock and serve search warrant at the home of a suspect. What took place next led to six officers being shot, one of whom died from his injuries the following morning, Jared Francom.

This man gave his life, leaving behind a wife and two young children, because he was striving to keep the community in which he served safe. I feel so much sorrow for his family that grieves his loss. I feel anger at the person who chose violence instead of compliance to the law. I feel like a window opened a little wider to my view of the depressing realities of life and what Joe could encounter when he walks out the door.

One of the emotions I also feel is frustration. As I have read comments on websites following news reports I have been shocked to read negative posts such as "Mourn the police? If they were to come in my home I would shoot them too." or "Well at least we can all rest better knowing that the police protected us by getting a little marijuana off the streets. Good job, haha". Or as I see the suspect's father, who I understand is mourning his son's choices and trying to understand, say that the police should have done better research or did not act appropriately, placing the blame of his son's actions on the officers.

A knock and serve warrant, if I understand what Joe has told me correctly means that officers come to the home and announce themselves by knocking on the door and identifying who they are. Their purpose that night was to search the home, having evidence leading them to believe there were drugs in the home. If the suspect had opened the door and let them in, a search would have been done and the night would have ended peacefully. Whether it ended with an arrest or not, all parties would have been safe and alive when the the search was complete. So don't tell me that this situation had anything to do with the officers. The suspect is the one who chose to use violence that night and as a result took a life and damaged many others.

Those that believe that police officers are dishonest people looking for excuses to use force or abuse their power should have watched that night as officers from all over the county rushed to help their co-workers, to them, their family. Who heard bullets and still went in to carry the injured out, not caring about their own safety. Do they not think it took incredible restaint to, when the suspect was apprehended, not use force on someone who may have just killed people that they love and care about? Could they do the same?

Being a police officer is often a thankless job. There are not many interactions for them that end with "Thank you so much officer for giving me a ticket today. I was speeding and broke the law and understand that you are just trying to help us all be aware and minimize accidents. I appreciate you helping me learn that."

Being a police officer requires that you work weird hours, sometimes causing you to spend substantial time away from your family. You miss holidays and special occasions. There are times when you are awake while everyone sleeps.

Being a police officer does not pay well. To me it is ridiculous what officers are paid to serve and protect each one of us compared to what professional athletes and celebrities are paid to entertain us. Given the choice between entertainment and life, I know which I value more.

Even with all of that, these officers show up for work. They love their jobs, and they love the opportunities they sometimes do have to make a difference and help others. Knowing there are risks, they still show up and step up to be a line of defense between us and danger. That night, those men whether they were there from the beginning or showed up to help, put aside their personal lives to do what they knew they should. I am proud to be Joe's wife. I am proud to have relationships with some of the police officers he works with and their families. They are brave people who try to do what is right and try to make our communities safe. Whether they were there that night, whether they were injured or gave their life, every police officer that puts on a uniform and walks out of the safety of their home into the unknown dangers outside is a hero.

What should have been a routine thing became a wake up call for many. I am so grateful my husband was able to remain safe but am still so sad for the other families. I pray that the families most affected will feel the comfort that I felt when we entered this path. That they will be blessed to feel the support they have from those around and that they will be blessed as they go from here. I am grateful for the sacrifices their loved ones made and each officer makes daily to protect each one of us and hope no one ever takes that for granted.